The liturgy, like the feast, exists not to educate but to seduce people into participating in common activity of the highest order, where one is freed to learn things which cannot be taught.
I’ve been quite immersed lately in trying to understand the kinds of people that are what you would call a “feeler.” My wife is a feeler. Some of my best friends is a feeler. I am using this kind of language based on Myers Briggs preference pairs of thinking and feeling. People range on a scale in this way of approaching the world, so it isn’t fair to throw them all into categories. But I find that sometimes looking at the different contrasts helps to understand.
The problem with me is that I land very heavily on the ‘thinking’ side of this scale. I have an ability to be able to process everything first before I feel anything at all towards a situation or person. I can quickly turn off and on feelings based on what I am thinking about.
The reason I have been immersed lately is because I desperately want to learn to love and appreciate feelings and emotions. It is very difficult for me to learn anything that I cannot understand. The one I love the most experiences the world in a completely different way than I do – and yet I do not understand half the time what is happening. And any attempt to explain goes over my head. In the same way she looks at me when I say “just stop feeling that way then.” (don’t worry all you out there, I haven’t said that since my first year of marriage!)
This is why this quote at the top stood out to me. This idea that there are things to learn that cannot be taught. I think this is why I got consumed with the idea of liturgy at theStory. There were just so many things that were not clicking for people through preaching and explaining. But liturgy does something different to people – that gives people the freedom to learn things which cannot be taught.
I am wondering then what these things are for relationships. What is the liturgy equivalent inside a marriage? What will give me the freedom to learn that which cannot be taught or explained to me?