Every once in a while I come up with a great idea and no one will be around for me to say it to. Sometimes I’ll be walking to school and start laughing out loud there by myself and I wish I could tell my funny joke to someone else. Other times I’ll be sitting in class and I’ll have such a brilliant idea about the text, and I’ll put my hand up over and over again and for some reason the professor skips over me.
I have this never ending desire to be noticed. Other times I’ll already being getting noticed but I desire to make the reason even bigger of why I should be getting notice. Something like this happened last night, and (this is why I love my friends) one of my friends called me on my prideful bluff and did his ‘hilarious’ slow clap like he was applauding for me, but not really because it’s almost like sarcasm with his hands.
When I have a dream or a good ‘idea’ I always want to tell everyone. I’m starting to realize that I probably don’t just want to tell everyone because I’m genuinely excited (thought I usually am) about it but more or less because I want to be recognized about my future accomplishments or creative ideas. My friend once told me, Dom Ruso, that a vision from God should be kept to ourselves at its beginning stages. Like Nehemiah and the wall. He got a vision from God and he didn’t tell anyone for a certain amount of time and went and inspected the wall, and waited before he told anyone. He ended up being one of the greatest leaders of the Bible.
I’m starting to learn about the importance of not spouting of my mouth about my future, or visions or dreams to everyone all the time. There is a reason why Christ says to pray and give in secret. He understands how it can get to one’s head if everyone knows how much you pray and how much you can give. The same is true for anything. If I am always spouting of my mouth about what I’m doing trying to draw attention to myself, well that is my reward and it gets to my head. I sincerely don’t want my reward to be the glory of a few moments of someone thinking I’m cool.
So next time that there is this idea that everyone should have seen or known about maybe I’ll keep it to myself and let God mold it into a bigger and better idea without me ruining the beginning stages of it. When it’s supposed to be storing itself up in my heart and working out the details I hope I have the discernment when to share that and when to keep it to myself. I want to help change things like Nehemiah did. Then eventually follow Christ’s instructions “No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world.” (John 7:4)