What better night to write an entry on here than the night I need to wake up at seven in the morning to write an essay that I’m not prepared for? Well, I’ll admit, I’m more prepared for this one that I am for the next three I have. God’s been working on me a lot lately, on a few things. One thing specifically is the fact that I think way too much. My roommate Jon always tells me that he thinks and analyzes things way too much also. He does and so do I. It wasn’t until then that I started to realize that I think and analyze things way too much also. In fact, I think I do a lot more than Jon does. That’s what I love about Jon, he’s so open with me and he’s so honest about his shortcomings and his weaknesses. It’s funny though because the one’s that he admits and shares with me are all the ones I deal with myself. Most cases I probably deal with it more than he does or worse, yet he always has no problem admitting them to me, I always find a need to hide mine. I grew up in the church though; I’m great at justifying and hiding things and giving all the right answers to make it look like I’m always on cloud nine. Just in the middle of me writing this Jon came in here and asked me to pray with him; I did. I find that his honesty and his ability to admit his weakness is something that I wish I had, it’s a characteristic I wish I was better at. Paul was the same way, he said that he was the chief of sinners; he knew that in his weakness is when Christ is strong in him.
Jon is one of my roommates for those of you that don’t know. He lived with me for a month in Sarnia and came straight here with me in Toronto; it’s been such a blast getting to know him. To be honest, it’s a relief being around someone who isn’t afraid to be himself. It’s a breath of fresh air to be around someone who is honest about himself. If I struggle with insecurity in any form, which we all do, I will be the last person to reveal that to anyone. I’ve always been the guy that is confident and doesn’t struggle with self image at all. I’m great at only revealing the parts of myself that are good, and hiding the parts that are bad, afraid that people will condemn me for it (which they will a lot of times). Jon is awesome. He honestly cares about people, he cares about his relationship with God and he cares about doing the right thing. He gets frustrated when he isn’t doing it to the best of his ability and he never has a problem admitting this to me. I never admit these things to him or to anyone for that matter. My pride holds me back. Wow, I wish I was like that. I really do try to be honest, and I try to be open about my weakness, but my pride blinds me from seeing them. I wish I could see them all, but sometimes I can’t see any, then I know there is something wrong.
I don’t say any of this to point out Jon’s weaknesses because frankly I never shared any of them. I point out Jon to show you how God uses weakness to be strong and encourage others. Maybe that’s how God comes through in our weaknesses, by encouraging others through them that they aren’t alone and that God doesn’t need your strength to accomplish anything through us or to give us worth. Jon, thank-you for being transparent with me and allowing yourself to be known. It is that quality of yours that challenges me. It is that quality that should challenge us all to stop being fake and be real to the people around us. We should stop trying to hide our shortcomings and realize that we are perfect and blameless in the eyes of God. By giving up trying to become something we are not we allow God us to mold us into what we are supposed to become.
1 thought on “My Roomate Jon”
Interesting thoughts You just proved your ability to be vulnerable by writing your innermost thoughts on a website that anyone could look at. The only thing you need to do now is share that vocally in real life with others.
One of my foibles was pleasing others to the point when i was no longer even happy with the person i had become and while attempting to please others i had hurt a lot of people in the process. I was so tired of living for the world and not getting anything in return but death and depression. That’s when i turned to Jesus for a way out. He provided me with a new life that i had never knew was possible for people as wretched as i was. Upon making the decision to live for God I knew that no one at all besides 3 people in my life would be pleased with the idea. I would not be invited to anymore parties with the “right people” and if i was then i wouldn’t be able to drink and get high like before. I was so sick and tired of living my life for others.. Which i realize now that i was not only living my life for other people but for myself. It pleased me when others thought well of me and that is what motivated me to do this in the first place. I m pretty sure that you and jon are not the only people in this world that struggle with pleasing others. Here’s a verse that has helped me and hopefully God will use it to further your walk with Him.
“For am I now trying to please man or God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galations 1:10 ESV I
will be praying for you.